Nice vs. Kind
With Spring upon us there are so many things that we are changing. Maybe it is your entryway, maybe you are incorporating a new workout in your routine or scheduling more outdoor time with your child(ren) whatever it is new seasons brings upon the desire to change things. For me, I started contemplating what it means for my child to understand the difference between nice vs. kind. In 2020, I saw so many things referencing being kind and I pondered whether those who were sharing the word truly knew what it meant.
A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to sit on a panel with Thrive Motherhood which is a local mom group that focuses on helping mothers thrive in and outside of the home. The panel was called “Little Fires Everywhere” which was fitting for 2020 because of the pandemic, the height of George Floyd, virtual school and so much more. One of the questions that was asked was: How do you raise your children to appreciate other races and be kind to all people of all races? The word “kindness “was such an overused word during that time and so while this question was a relevant one, I still struggled to answer it. Kindness to me meant the act of no expectation, compassion, mercy and if you are a Christian, it's loving your neighbor as yourself with the best example being Jesus Christ.
I keep a book at my desk called ‘Nice’ by local author Sharon Miller. In the book “Nice” Sharon says: “We live in a culture that prizes niceness as one of the highest virtues. Niceness keeps the peace, wins friends, gains influence, and serves our reputation well, but it also takes the teeth out of our witness and the power out of our faith. When we choose to be nice instead of faithful (kind), we bear fruits that are bland, bitter, empty, and rotten to the core”
As I thought about this article and what I will share; I was reminded of a time when Miles felt like he wasn’t treated kindly by a peer. While I did not know the context of the situation it showed me that children like adults are aware when someone is being kind to them and when someone isn’t. I am sure this happens more times than not; A child is treated unkindly because of what they are wearing, their socio-economic status, their educational level and so much more. These conversations have grown me as a parent around what it means to be nice vs kind.
Almost every day I see someone with a shirt that says, "raising kind humans" and I can't help but wonder what that shirt means. Are they raising their child(ren) to see all people, are they raising their child(ren) to speak up and out about racial injustices, are they raising her child(ren) to be confident and stand by the truth? It is important in our household that we are kind to people not because we want to keep the peace, win friends, gain influence, or have a good reputation but because we want to be compassionate, show mercy and value all. When was the last time you were kind with no strings attached?
Kiara Ruth, Administrative Assistant
